Val Kilmer

Willow

Tombstone

Howdy, my fellow cinephiles. This week is devoted to a legend of stage and screen who has appeared many times on this blog already, a dashing, daring Capricorn who had a complicated reputation in Hollywood but ultimately became revered for his ability to undertake diverse, dramatic, comedic, unexpected roles, who sadly passed away last week: Val Kilmer. Val Kilmer was born on New Years Eve, 1959 in Los Angeles, and was raised as a Christian Scientist—a faith he maintained until his diagnosis with throat cancer in 2015. He dated Mare Winningham when he attended Chatsworth High School, and at the time, he was the youngest person to be admitted into Julliard’s drama division. He got his start on stage, and quickly gained the respect of numerous filmmakers who wanted to work with him. We all know Val from Top Gun, Batman Forever, The Doors, True Romance, Heat, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, perhaps the ill-fated Island of Dr. Moreau, but too many people forget his comedic prowess in films like Top Secret! and MacGruber, his spooky chops in Twixt, his delightfully-douchey cameo in Palo Alto, his voiceover work in The Prince of Egypt. And for all of the iconic roles he embodied, very few know of the plethora of iconic roles he turned down. He turned down lead roles in The Outsiders, Blue Velvet, Dirty Dancing, Indecent Proposal, In the Line of Fire, Crimson Tide, Apollo 13, Flatliners, Point Break, Johnny Mnemonic, Interview with the Vampire, Backdraft, Sliver, Fair Game, and Austin Powers Goldmember. He was so ambitious and talented from the very start of his career, that he came off a bit James-Dean-cocky at times, with several directors and actors stating their disinterest in working with him again. He was confident in his abilities and dabbled in method acting, which often made for difficult dynamics on set, but he did eventually come out of his cloud of pretentiousness, and learned to make fun of himself. Last night I watched his 2021 documentary Val, and in between sobs I learned so much about this performer: how driven he was (sometimes to a psychotic degree), how goofy he was, how smart he was, how he practiced the guitar for 4 months for his rockstar role in Top Secret! only to be told when he arrived on set that it would be funnier if he mimed it, how he saw Joanne Whalley in various productions in London long before they were both cast in Willow and got married, how he wrote and acted in a one-man travelling show about Mark Twain called Citizen Twain, how he went bankrupt to help his father get out of debt, how he made random audition tapes for his favorite directors in the hopes that he’d be cast in something (which is how he got The Doors), how excited he was to play Batman that he didn’t even read the script before signing on, how him and his brothers made their own detailed and extravagant movies growing up until his brother Wesley died at age 15. He was an artist, a musician, a poet, a philanthropist, a layered and interesting individual whom Roger Ebert referred to as “the most unsung leading man of his generation”, and whom Walter Chaw beautifully explained his love for by writing, "I loved Val Kilmer because he had great hair and an insouciant, provocative, uncontainable energy that made him a profoundly interesting antihero. He was punk rock. He was charming and surly, a curl of the lip and a 100-watt smile he knew, damn him, was nigh irresistible.” It was an immense challenge to decide which two of Kilmer’s films to watch this evening, but I think I found a couple that really showcase his chameleonic qualities and genuine love for the sport of acting.

Up first is a long-beloved fantasy adventure that was dreamed up by George Lucas and directed by Ron Howard, where Kilmer met his wife and the mother to his two children, this is the 1988 film Willow. The film begins as many fantasy stories do: we are informed of a prophecy wherein the evil Queen Bavmorda’s (Jean Marsh) cruel reign will be ended by a child who has a special birthmark. Nearby, a baby is born with gorgeous locks of red hair and that very birthmark, and its mother, knowing of the prophecy, convinces her midwife to run and take the child to safety. Though the queen sends her daughter Sorsha (Joanne Whalley) to track down this child, the baby is sent down a river, Moses style, and she ends up in the village of the Nelwyn (a race of dwarves) where she is found by the children of this film’s titular hero: Willow Ufgood (Warwick Davis.) Suddenly, the evil queen’s hounds show up and attack this village, and when the coast is clear, Willow decides to inquire about this troublesome baby. The leaders of the village are similarly-stumped on what to do, but decide that Willow should deliver this baby to members of its own species. Along with a few other Nelwyn (played by David Steinberg, Tony Cox, and Mark Northover), Willow sets off on his potentially-perilous quest, baby in tow. Early on in this adventure, this gang of unlikely heroes stumbles upon a mercenary named Madmartigan (Val Kilmer), who’s been trapped in a crow’s cage at a crossroads. He’s so desperate to be freed, he promises to deliver this baby to safety if Willow sets him free, and since Madmartigan is of the same species as this baby, Willow obliges. But very shortly after, the baby is seen being carried by the talons of a flying hawk that is chartered by a couple of sprite/fairy creatures called “brownies” (played by Kevin Pollak and Rick Overton), and Madmartigan is nowhere to be found. Willow gets the baby back after negotiating with the brownies, and meeting the Fairy Queen Cherlindrea, who finally explains this child’s prophecy, it’s name (Elora Danan), and the importance of Willow’s treacherous task. She gifts Willow with a magic wand and sends him to find another enchantress so the evil queen will finally be defeated. When stopping at a pub, Willow and Elora once again bump into Madmartigan, who is putting himself in drag to fool the husband of the woman with whom he just fucked. Val is already drop-dead gorge in the long-haired look he sports in this film, but adding a little eyeliner and color to his wardrobe only made him sexier somehow. The queen’s warrior daughter shows up at this pub swiftly, and though Madmartigan can’t help remarking how beautiful Sorsha is, he helps Willow and Elora escape—all while in drag. They get away safely, but continue this cat-and-mouse scheme all across this mythical land. If this synopsis comes off a bit disjointed and chaotic, I can only defend myself by saying that the film played out just as disjointedly and chaotically. My biggest grievance with fantasy stories like Willow, is that there are often a myriad of names, territories, alliances, rituals, and powers that we’re inundated with, and this can be overwhelming. There are several beautifully-shot, expertly-choreographed fight scenes and great escapes shown throughout this movie, and there was even some clever writing and funny ad-libbing from the man of the evening, but it became a bit tedious to keep up with all of the sorcerers, knights, queens, creatures, captives, and underdogs. The best part of Willow, other than Warwick Davis’ endearing performance, was the palpable chemistry between the mostly-shirtless Val and his future-wife Joanne Whalley, who have the ideal enemies-to-lovers arc in this movie. I know there was likely some symbolism and storytelling that I missed, but all I could focus on was Val, as Joanne held a sword to his throat and he says “death next to love is a trivial thing.” Willow also features some incredibly spooky makeup transformations, and some rather groundbreaking special effects—with visual techniques and animation sequences that led to a revolutionary breakthrough with digital morphing technology. Though it was stressful to witness Willow and this baby going through so many trials and tribulations, I ultimately enjoyed this film way more than I thought I would.

The same could be said for tonight’s second film, which, similarly to Willow, comes from a genre I rarely gravitate towards, this is the 1993 Western epic known as Tombstone. Directed by George P. Cosmatos (father of Panos), Tombstone tells the semi-true story of Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell), and his time spent in the town of Tombstone, Arizona with his brothers, Virgil and Morgan (Sam Elliott and Bill Paxton), and his longtime friend, Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer.) You would think, with all my love for Texas cinema, that I’d be a fan of cowboy movies and Westerns, but I find the majority of them to be just a tad too dusty and slow and racist for my taste. Thankfully, Tombstone grabbed ahold of my attention early on, and never let go. As a narrator (Robert Mitchum) explains: the year is 1879, the Civil War has ended, and farmers, prospectors, killers, and thieves alike all seek their fortunes out West, but legendary peace officer Wyatt Earp plans to retire and start a family with his wife. But when an outlaw gang donned in red scarves known as the Cowboys shoots up a lovely Mexican wedding, the priest tells the gang’s leader, “Curly Bill” Brocious (Powers Boothe), that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse will come and avenge all of the souls they have needlessly taken. In a nearby town (“nearby” being relative because it’s impossible to tell the different settings apart in this film), Wyatt Earp is gearing up to depart on his journey to Tombstone, along with his wife, his brothers, and their wives. He’s busy telling every man with a problem who approaches him that he’s retired, and his pal Doc Holliday is busy playing poker—he and his gal laughing as they win another large sum of money. Doc does that cool coin trick where he balances and moves it between his knuckles like it’s nothin’, proving that while pale and sickly with tuberculosis, he can’t help but charm and dazzle. The Earp gang arrives in Tombstone and Doc lands shortly thereafter, ready to retire and chill and maybe win a couple bucks at the poker table. Tombstone is relatively big, it has its own theater, with its own actors (Dana Delany and Billy Zane [at maybe his prettiest]), and a couple of men claiming to be Sheriff, but every citizen fears the men who unofficially run this town: the Cowboys. County Sheriff Behan (Jon Tenney) assures Wyatt that Tombstone is growing and sophisticated, but then a casual shootout ensues, which causes Doc to say, in his fruity lil drawl, “Very cosmopolitan.” The Earp gang and the Cowboys do not immediately spar, but their beef very steadily evolves into quite a severe case of this-town-ain’t-big-enough-for-the-two-of-us—and these good cowboys are up for the challenge. The cast of this film is utterly, impossibly, undeniably stacked with well-known and beloved dudes like Michael Biehn, Charlton Heston, Jason Priestly, Stephen Lang, Thomas Haden Church, Michael Rooker, Billy Bob Thornton, Paul Ben-Victor, Terry O’Quinn, and John Corbett—but Kurt Russell’s piercing teal eyes and Val Kilmer’s sly little smile easily stole the show. I don’t even like mustaches, but every man rocking a ‘stache and an all black get-up here really made it work for them—to the point where I couldn’t even recognize who some of the actors were. Tensions run higher and higher in the town of Tombstone, as more people are needlessly killed and as Earp’s crew attempts to enforce some law and order—much to the chagrin of the “retired” Wyatt Earp. There is no honor among gunslingers, and before the film is done, the bodies pile up, the blood runs cold, and it’s up to the Earp gang to save the rest of Tombstone. I’m aware that this is a very male-centric movie, and therefore I probably shouldn’t be disappointed by the lack of female representation, but I still couldn’t help being bored by the handful of women who are in this story. I’m not sure if Virgil or Morgan’s wives even have any lines, Doc’s gal is so wild that she’s quickly killing him (which should’ve been more interesting, tbh), Wyatt’s wife is a drug addict (and that’s her whole thing), and Josephine (the actress Wyatt crushes on) may have invented the manic pixie cowgirl archetype, but these characters added very little to what is an otherwise very exciting tale. Exciting, despite my frustration with this period of history—where men started wars just because they were bored and sunburned and 150 years away from being able to watch White Lotus. As disinterested as I am in cowboy history, I was thoroughly compelled by Tombstone, its surprisingly clever writing, the homoeroticism between enemies, and the brotherly love among this crew of crime-fighting buckaroo bros. Even though Val stepped away from the spotlight several years ago, his absence on this planet is still profoundly heavy. There are very few actors in this day and age who can do all that Val did, with the movie star chutzpah and gorgeous blonde hair that he did. These Hollywood icons must stop dying, for my heart can’t bear it and I have many other double feature themes planned! Until next time, I’m your Huckleberry. 🤠