Spy Spoofs
Casino Royale
Top Secret!
As we make our way through December, I can feel the red and green-tinted pressure of the Holidays creeping up behind, the belting of Mariah Carey and Michael Buble echoing in the distance... But before we get into the Holiday spirit, I wanted to watch some movies that had nothing to do with the Holidays—movies that have little to no semblance of wholesomeness or morality. Before we’re completely drowning in seasonal saccharine silliness, let’s indulge in one of my favorite kinds of non-denominational silly films: spoofs. A spoof is a parody or imitation of a genre, story, or character that already exists in pop culture. I have always loved a spoof, sometimes more than I enjoy the original material it’s parodying. I grew up listening to the prince of parody Weird Al Yankovic, and watching movies like Murder By Death, Young Frankenstein, This is Spinal Tap, Airplane, Blazing Saddles, Scary Movie, Shaun of the Dead, A Very Brady Movie and A Very Brady Sequel, and most recently, Fear of a Black Hat. All of these films reached a level of success and adoration, not just because of the built-in fanbase, but because these films take on a life of their own. If a spoof is good enough, it may even have greater longevity than its source material. I didn’t originally plan on watching two spoof films based on spy stories, but action films seem to be the single most-spoofed category of them all. Tonight’s first spy spoof comes from 1967 and was directed by John Huston, Ken Hughes, Joseph McGrath, Val Guest, and Robert Parrish, and was written by several other people, in a circus of a production of Casino Royale. This film has a complicated background, and was even more complicated during its production, but here’s the short version: Ian Fleming wrote the James Bond novels, starting with Casino Royale in 1953, all of which were major hits. The first James Bond film, Dr. No, was released in 1962, and starred Sean Connery as the title character, even though Ian Fleming specifically wanted David Niven. But two years before this a producer named Charles K. Feldman had acquired the rights to Casino Royale, and wanted to work with Eon Studios, the studio that produced Dr. No, but they couldn’t come to an agreement. James Bond was rapidly becoming a beloved character [with films like From Russia With Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, and You Only Live Twice being released one after another], and because he knew he couldn’t compete with Eon Studios, Feldman had to do something different to get in on the hype, so his solution? To make a spoof of James Bond, featuring the most star-studded cast that he could acquire, the biggest budget he could successfully justify, and the most ludicrous spin on the novel that one could curate. Truthfully, none of that was part of the original plan, but as more actors and directors and writers were added to the project, the budget and bewilderment escalated. Imagine a James Bond movie, written by ten different people, directed by five different people, who were all seemingly supplied with copious amounts of acid. That was Casino Royale. Casino Royale’s background is just as muddy as its premise, but I’ll do my best to explain. The film follows an older, now retired Sir James Bond (David Niven) as he is approached by the heads of MI6, the CIA, the KGB, and the Deuxième Bureau de l'État-major général of France. They’re in desperate need of 007’s help to stop SMERSH (agents of the Soviet Red Army) who have been taking out every single one of their operatives, but 007 just wants to chill, reasonably so. After these agents bomb 007’s home, James Bond agrees to help them, but he needs help assembling a team. The rest of the film is utter nonsense, but mostly involves the assembling of this team, including James’ long lost daughter whom he had with Mata Hari, Miss Moneypenny’s daughter, and other agents also named “James Bond” played by Woody Allen 😒, Peter Sellers, and Terence Cooper—who all eventually face off with the obvious villain Le Chiffre (Orson Welles) and the not-so-obvious villain: one of the aforementioned Bonds. I won’t say which James Bond ends up being evil, I’ll just say that it’s the one who makes the most sense. If this plot sounds messy and hard to follow, that’s because it was. And if it sounds too trippy to be tolerable, that’s because it is. I can get down with some hallucinogenic cinematography and groovy senselessness, but I prefer a great script. Casino Royale did not have a great script, and its best parts were its absurd sight-gags, pun names, and Ursula Andress’ (Harry Hamlin’s first baby mama) psychedelically chic wardrobe. I really liked the idea behind Casino Royale, but to watch it all unfold was so chaotic. I did appreciate all of the random cameos from actors like Peter O’Toole (who was allegedly paid in champagne), and I did appreciate that this film featured so many female leads (though the sexism was obviously thick). The editing was rough, the sequencing and pacing of events was tough, and to see Peter Sellers so serious and Orson Welles so goofy really threw me off. I think I’d rather watch a film about the making of Casino Royale, because Sellers (who wanted to play his character straight and not goofy) and Welles had major beef on set, and nearly every person involved struggled to get this movie done. It was complete, utter, balls-to-the-wall ridiculousness, but I needed more, so thank god I found Zucker and Abraham’s (ZAZ) 1984 film Top Secret! This movie follows Nick Rivers (Val Kilmer) an American rock-n-roll star who’s sent to Germany to represent America at a cultural festival, that ends up being a cover for the East German government’s attempt to reunify all of Germany under their rule. But Nick, the golden boy who sings such classics as “Skeet Surfin”, accidentally becomes involved with the resistance. A young Val Kilmer perfectly channels a young Elvis, bright-eyed and not necessarily fit for serious acting, and he leads this hilarious film to a beautifully stupid victory. Top Secret! has everything: surfers with guns, 50s nostalgia, male ballerinas with giant bulges, countless film, tv, and music references, and it wonderfully roasted not just Germany, but America and nearly every other country. I mean this in the purest, kindest, most earnest way possible, Top Secret! was sooooooo stupid. And I loved literally everything about it. I know I went in to quite a bit of detail to explain Casino Royale, but I shan’t do that with Top Secret! because you really must see this one for yourself. If you like to laugh, like genuinely, hoarsely, bursting out and shocking yourself kind of laugh, then you must watch this film, and help me in giving it the praise that it very much deserves. The fact that Top Secret! was so good, and I’d never heard of it, is just as ridiculous as its bonkers premise. Spoofs are faced with the challenge of exaggerating an idea to the fullest extent, and I’d say that both of tonight’s films did this, and then some. If you like being bombarded with bewildering humor, if you like going “wait what”, if you like big casts of insanely committed characters who boldly go into silly scenarios with wild abandon, then do yourself a favor and add these to your watch list. And laugh while you still can, dear reader—next week the ha-ha-ha’s might just be taking a turn for the ho-ho-ho…
