Rob Reiner
A Few Good Men
The Sure Thing
What’s up, my fellow meatheads? I hope you’re staying well and woke amid the rising tides of fascism. Trust me, I’m as sick of typing the word “fascism” just as much as you’re sick of reading it, but the subject of tonight’s double feature would encourage us to stay alert and aware of the state of the world at all times. Tonight’s films come from a late, great, talent from behind and in front of the camera, a comedy legend who descended from comedy legends, someone who solely created iconic, memorable films throughout his time on Earth: Rob Reiner. Like many pop culture nerds and decent humans, I was shocked and devastated by the recent murder of Rob and Michele Reiner—two people who committed to activism with the same fervor that fueled their artistic endeavors. I’m not gonna dwell in the Nancy-Grace-tabloid-territory of speculation and gawking that, unfortunately, always comes with a death as unexpected as this one, tonight I just want to focus on the impeccable career of this gentle genius who provided us with decades of entertainment. Rob Reiner was born in New York City on March 6th, 1947, to famous Jewish parents Carl and Estelle. Carl Reiner’s career spanned seven decades, earning several Emmys, Grammys, and the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor for writing alongside Mel Brooks, Neil Simon, Woody Allen—with notable collaborations with Sid Caesar and Steve Martin that would forever change the comedic landscape. He was so established and beloved, that for his iconic 1960s television program The Dick Van Dyke Show, Carl portrayed a Sid Caesar-esque character and Dick Van Dyke played a version of Carl Reiner—a re-creation so exact that the fictional Petrie family lived on Bonnie Meadow Road in suburban New Rochelle, New York, the same street where the real-life Reiners resided. It was an impossible shadow to grow up in, and yet Rob and his siblings all became successful artists in their own right, with Rob particularly blazing an unforgettable trail in comedy and film just as his father did. Rob made his acting debut at 14 years old on the tv show Manhunt, and proceeded to take on several TV roles in Batman, That Girl, The Andy Griffith Show, Room 222, Gomer Pyle, The Partridge Family, and The Beverly Hillbillies. But where audiences really got to know and love Rob Reiner was on Norman Lear’s iconic, culture-shaking show All In the Family, where he played the liberal Michael “Meathead” Stivic opposite the conservative Archie Bunker. Rob always had aspirations beyond acting, but this role really established him as a reliable comedic figure on what became the most-watched television program in the US for five consecutive seasons. His hilarious dynamic with Caroll O’Connor forever cemented him as a left-leaning character of strong morals—on screen and off—with Reiner once remarking on his character’s enduring legacy, “I could win the Nobel Prize and they’d write ‘Meathead wins the Nobel Prize.’” Reiner clearly had good artistic instincts, but no one could’ve guessed that his directorial debut, This Is Spinal Tap, would not only kickstart an impeccable film career, but significantly impact and shape the format of comedy as we knew it. If it weren’t for this innovative, side-splittingly-funny, perfectly-cast ensemble experience, mockumentaries like The Office and Parks and Recreation wouldn’t exist, and that certain, special, dry delivery of humor that has defined so many comedians’ careers wouldn’t either. And that’s just how Rob Reiner’s career started—with incessantly-quotable scripts and incredible performers—but this would be a theme he carried into every project after. Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Misery, The Bucket List, tonight’s films, and even his recent and final film, Spinal Tap II: The End Continues, all fit the criteria for a memorable movie experience. They’re the kind of cinematic slam dunks an auteur might make once in their lives if they’re lucky. Rob Reiner consistently made wonderful films and cameos in other wonderful films, and even made shows like Seinfeld through his production company Castle Rock, all the while putting his money where his mouth was and fighting for basic human rights. He was a co-founder of the American Foundation for Equal Rights (which was instrumental in the legalization of gay marriage in the US), he lead the effort to preserve California’s Ahmanson Ranch as a state park and wildlife refuge, he campaigned for Al Gore, Howard Dean, and Hillary Clinton, and once even considered running against Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger but opted not to, once saying, “I don't want to be an elected official, I want to get things done.” Though he had an unforgettable marriage to his childhood friend Penny Marshall, Rob ended up with Michele Singer, who, upon their meeting, caused Reiner to change the ending of When Harry Met Sally to a much happier one. Rob Reiner contributed so much to the culture: giving us lines and moments like “Oh Billy, I think I just turned my Fruit-of-the-Looms into a fudge factory”, “Inconceivable!”, “My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die”, “As you wish”, “I’m your number one fan”, the fake orgasm scene, and “You can’t handle the truth!” which comes from tonight’s first film.
The 1992 legal drama A Few Good Men was Rob Reiner’s highest-grossing movie of all time, with a script written by Aaron Sorkin and an absolutely stacked cast, and yet I’d somehow never seen it. But since I’m a currently working in a law office and studying to become a paralegal, now felt like the right time to finally view this one. Based on Sorkin’s play of the same name, A Few Good Men is a gripping legal opera surrounding the murder of a young Marine in Guantanamo Bay, the men who were framed for this murder, and the team of lawyers who fought to prove the impossible. I really don’t love military movies—even if they star Demi Moore—but I do like a legal drama, and when I found out that this film was not endorsed by the US military or government (unlike many other military films) I was positively intrigued. Tom Cruise stars as hotshot young attorney Lt. Daniel Kaffee, the son of a famous attorney in the JAG Corps of the Armed Forces, though Daniel only has 9 months of negotiating plea deals under his belt and zero trial experience. When Lt. Cdr. JoAnne Galloway (Moore) hears about the suspicious death of a Marine named Santiago, she feels something is amiss and volunteers to defend the Marines who were charged with the murder. But Daniel Kaffee, a cocky spitfire rookie who’d rather play baseball against the JAG prosecutor (Kevin Bacon) than play against him in court, is put on the case. Galloway is reasonably pissed, but because she is his superior, she accompanies him to Cuba to get to the bottom of this disturbing case. The man in charge is Colonel Nathan Jessep (Jack Nicholson), and he’s certain that Santiago was killed by the vicious hazing of the Marines charged, as Santiago was a “weakling”. Despite repeatedly requesting a transfer to a different base, Santiago was tormented and worked to the bone and eventually found tied up, beaten, and gagged in the dead of night. Kaffee and his team try to get answers out of Jessep and his team, but it all just becomes a dick-measuring contest of ranks and titles, ending with Kaffee being called a f*ggot and Galloway essentially being told she should suck Jessep’s dick. It’s the kind of classically cutting Aaron Sorkin dialogue I come to expect, and with this jarring interaction, I was all the way in. This is the sort of internal affair that cannot be negotiated into a plea deal, and even though Kaffee’s clients have blood on their hands, they insist that they were just following orders. The rest of this film is a fascinating, riveting, shocking courtroom brawl wherein Tom Cruise lawyers the hell out of a tricky and nuanced case, while chewing every bit of scenery in the process. It’s an effective and unrelenting exposé of fictional evil people and the fictional pawns in their schemes, all inspired by real people and real events. My only qualm with this film, other than Tom Cruise doing a little too much, is the unnecessary implication of an enemies-to-lovers romance between Tom and Demi, which is thankfully never fully realized. An unnamed executive allegedly gave Aaron Sorkin a note: “If (these characters) aren’t going to sleep with each other, why is Demi Moore a woman?”, causing Sorkin to respond, “Women have purposes other than to sleep with Tom Cruise.” Sorkin wrote much of this story on cocktail napkins while bartending, and worked tirelessly for months with Rob Reiner to adapt the screenplay, so he wasn’t going to let this gravely serious story be fucked with. I enjoyed A Few Good Men so much more than I thought I would; it’s the kind of movie I, at first, wouldn’t have minded viewing in two sittings but couldn’t find a natural stopping point because I was entirely too compelled. The entire manly ensemble is tremendous, and made me fear the US military more than I already do, with cameos from Kevin Pollak, Kiefer Sutherland, James Marshall, Wolfgang Bodison, J.T. Walsh, Matt Craven, Christopher Guest(!!??), Noah Wyle, Cuba Gooding Jr., J.A. Preston, and Joshua Malina. The word “sir” is uttered 164 times during the movie, Tom Cruise modeled his performance on Church of Scientology chairman David Miscavige, and somehow neither of these facts ruined it. I wish this film were even more critical of the US military than it was, but I appreciate any attempt to expose the not-so-patriotic truth of our not-always-humane military and government. It’s the kind of movie only Rob Reiner could’ve made, the kind of movie that is, unfortunately, still relevant, as the loudest authoritarian voices continue to act as if accountability is an un-American notion.
On a much lighter, but still bitingly-well-written note, tonight’s next film was Rob Reiner’s take on a John Hughes-esque teen rom com—though I think I much prefer this to Mr. Hughes’ work—this is the 1985 film The Sure Thing. Because I have seen the majority of Rob Reiner’s films, and quite frankly didn’t have much interest in watching ones like The Bucket List, I decided to do a rare rewatch of a film I haven’t seen (but remembered loving) since I was very young. The Sure Thing introduces us to college freshman Walter “Gib” Gibson, who, despite having a symmetrical face and half a brain, hasn’t gotten laid in awhile. This was the 80s: when being a nerd in high school was dangerous, but carrying that dorkishness into college was seemingly a death sentence. Gib’s best friend Lance (Anthony Edwards) tells him that he should’ve gone to UCLA like he did, instead of a stuffy Ivy League college in New England, where, according to Lance, “there’s nothin’ but ugly, intellectual girls with Band-Aids on their knees from playing the cello.” Alone and lonely on his snowy college campus, where, so far, his roommate is the only one getting any action, Gib starts to wonder if Lance might be right. But that all changes when Gib meets Alison (Daphne Zuniga) in his English class, where his chic but audacious professor (Viveca Lindfors) critiques student papers in front of the whole class (my worst nightmare.) The professor tells Gib, “I really enjoyed your paper. Unfortunately, whatever whimsical qualities that your paper evokes are obscured in a morass of marginal grammar, creative spelling, and I believe a… sausage stain?”, then tells the gorgeous and astute Alison, “Your writing is very clear, but dry… have fun, live life, eat food that is bad for you… life is the ultimate experience, but you must experience it to write about it.” (I wonder where this could be going…) Gib’s charms are only taking him so far, and he begs Alison to help him pass English, but after attempting to, he makes a pass at her in the most cringe way possible and blows it. Alison forgives him, but she clearly wants nothing to do with him. No matter, Gib thinks, because Lance has been writing and calling him about a girl out in California who is the ultimate, sex-loving blonde—a sure thing, if you will—and Gib sets his sights on this mystery babe. Gib desperately wants to meet this girl during Winter break, but he has no money to get there. Luckily for Gib, he hitches a ride from Tim Robbins and Lisa Jane Persky, but unluckily for Alison, she’s hitching a ride to see her boyfriend at UCLA, in that very same car. Through trials and tribulations and *shudders* showtunes, Gib and Alison make their way to sunny California, with Gib’s mind constantly vacillating between his idealized fantasy of the “sure thing” and the fully-realized girl right next to him. Alison, too, is torn—she has every day and month and the rest of her life planned out, once saying, “spontaneity has its time and its place”, but here’s this approachable bad boy slacker intellectual whom she cannot help being thrilled by. Though there have been numerous enemies-to-lovers, will-they-won’t-they plots in the grand pantheon of romantic comedies, the dynamic in The Sure Thing felt believable and adorable and totally root-for-able. On the surface, nothing about this film is particularly appealing or up my alley—it’s all about one kinda pathetic dude’s quest for female attention of any kind—and yet I absolutely love this movie. There’s a tenderness here, a self-aware nuance here, a kindness afforded to these youths that was (and still is) hard to come by in coming of age films. Sure, there’s a healthy amount of 1980s era slut-shaming, but Gib’s struggle and his triumph are both fairly well-earned. Gib is unfortunately the exact kind of guy I was into back in the day: a smart but lazy creative who just needs me to reach his full potential (lol.) In Roger Ebert’s review, he called The Sure Thing a “small miracle” for its handling of teenage material with realism and sensitivity in an era when movies like the crass comedy Porky's were the norm. Though the camera captures basically every inch of Nicolette “the sure thing” Sheridan’s body, this is the best kind of bro cinema I love because it is secretly, sneakily feminist. It reminds me of movies like The Girl Next Door, because it seems to have been made by creators who knew that sometimes the only way to get scary loser incels to pay attention to valuable life lessons like “respect women” is to show them a bikini first. Well, I’ve said far too much for one week, but if you made it this far, I salute you and I thank you. Rest in peace, Rob and Michele Reiner, and thank you for always taking it up to eleven.
