Lady Gaga

House of Gucci

A Star is Born

Greetings, readers, and fellow little monsters. This week is dedicated to one of my favorite singers of the last twenty years, an icon who’s name is synonymous with glamour, artistic expression, creative chaos, and that is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, aka: Lady Gaga. She is not just a singer, performer, activist, artist, Italian legend, and star of the stage, she is an actress—and this was true long before she was ever cast in a feature film. I’ve been a little monster since the humble days of Dirty Ice Cream, since before she released four of the greatest albums of all time in a row. My sister and I saw her in concert toward the end of The Fame Monster Ball tour, when her aesthetic was beginning to shift and the songs she was writing became deeper, her voice even more powerful. That night was so special, I remember just gazing in awe at this incredible hit-machine do bop after bop after bop—I was so entranced that I didn’t even notice that the drunk girls behind us had spilled their beer all over my borrowed Betsey Johnson dress. To this day it is one of the best live music experiences I’ve ever had, and to this day I have to listen to Lady Gaga at least once a week to maintain any mental stability I have left. She is such a wildly passionate, effortlessly inspiring talent—the kind of singer/songwriter who can craft a dance anthem just as easily as she can break your heart with a ballad. She’s always been a master of her craft, and a daring creative force who continues to keep us all guessing, even this far into her career. She’s tried, and succeeded, in nearly every sonic genre—from techno pop to country to rock n’ roll to jazz—and each era has left me with a greater appreciation for her versatility. I’ve always considered her an auteur of sorts, for the cinematic level of her music videos, and the way her shows are constructed and performed. She doesn’t do anything unless she does it well—even when it comes to the less-than-amazing projects she’s taken on. Considering how long I’ve been a dedicated Gaga stan, you might be shocked to find out that this evening was my first excursion into her film career, but that’s only because I am such a massive fan. To a certain extent, I didn’t care about getting to know Gaga as an actress because she’s always been one in my eyes. And, if I’m being totally honest, I was afraid that the films she’s been in may not be the best places for her to shine. But as soon as I saw the papa, papa, paparazzi shots of her filming the upcoming Joker sequel Folie à Deux (my love for Gaga outweighs my hatred for the first movie) I knew that sooner or later, I’d have to take her off of the pedestal I’ve placed her on and finally watch one of her movies. I began with the most disappointing of these films, a film who’s press tour was far more riveting than the film itself: Ridley Scott’s 2021 House of Gucci. House of Gucci imagines Lady Gaga as Patrizia Reggiani, a hardworking and hungry manager of her father’s small trucking business in Milan, Italy. Even before her story begins, she is easily the chicest and most captivating character on screen—a quality that follows her consistently throughout this fraught film. When Patrizia goes to a party at a discoteca, she meets Maurizio Gucci (Adam Driver) who is a law student, but, more importantly, the heir to 50% of the Gucci empire. Patrizia has stars in her eyes the second she sees Maurizio, and makes it her mission to get him—even going so far as to stalk him to continue their meet-cute. Patrizia is visibly out of her depth with Maurizio’s family, and his father (Jeremy Irons) is quite aware of this, but Maurizio loves her anyway. Maurizio has little-to-no interest in running the Gucci dynasty when his father dies, but Patrizia is more than motivated to step up and do what needs to be done. I could tell that this film, and Gaga’s performance, wanted to do their best to not pick a side—between the Gucci family and this outsider who came in and shook everything up—but I couldn’t help but root for the relentlessly-motivated and elegantly-dressed Patrizia. Gaga conjured up every bit of heart and/or soul that this empty film could muster, and yet the entirety of it just felt dull. I think Ridley Scott sincerely believed that if he cast Lady Gaga, put her in fabulous outfits, cast Salma Hayek as her spiritual guide, then placed them next to Jared Leto (unnecessarily in a fat suit and doing the DUMBEST accent) and Al Pacino having a scenery-chew-off, that this would make a good movie. But it did not. And it’s not like I expected a masterpiece, but this was so disappointing! The cast was impressive, the setting and scenery were immaculate, and the family drama was genuinely juicy—and yet…House of Gucci made me feel nothing. No amount of bizarrely aggressive sex scenes, catchy musical cues, flashy fashion shows, or sweaty, tan Al Pacinos could make this movie good, and for that I am legitimately annoyed. This movie didn’t have to be anything but fun, and yet somehow lacked fun entirely! If they wanted Gaga to represent this crazed woman who would stop at nothing to get the life that she wanted, than they should’ve cast someone less sympathetic, and quite frankly, someone less good than Gaga. And I know her accent wasn’t perfect (still better than Leto’s), and I know some of the line deliveries were goofy, but I felt like Gaga was the only player here who actually gave damn. She was actually incredible despite the inherent cheesiness of this movie, and put so much into her performance, that I have to wonder if she’s as disappointed as audiences were. At an hour-ish in to this movie, you’ll look at the clock and think to yourself, “holy shit how is there still an hour and a half left” and it’s because Ridley Scott filled this movie with so many unnecessary scenes and B-storylines like Jared Leto’s that resoundingly no one gives a shit about. I could tell that Jared Leto was meant to be the comic relief, but I did not laugh a single time when he spoke. The only joy I derived from his role, was every chance that every other character took to shit on him, including, but not limited to, when Jeremy Irons says “You have achieved a triumph of mediocrity.” This, and “father, son, and house of Gucci” were the only memorable lines in this film. So many moments that should’ve been dedicated to Gaga’s star power were wasted on rushing this story along. Ridley Scott tried and failed to cram as much history and histrionics into this nearly 3-hour movie, and somehow told no story at all. Only in the last ten minutes of this movie does the true crime aspect come into play, which was meant to be the crux of this film, but instead feels like an afterthought. It all just felt so hollow, so nothing, so overwhelmingly meh for a movie with a stacked cast, beautiful settings, luxury clothing, and Lady fucking Gaga. House of Gucci seems like the perfect movie to watch on a plane because it’s long, it’s somewhat entertaining, and by the end you forget everything that occurred during it so you can easily enjoy whatever trip you’re taking. Other than that specific setting, I cannot imagine why you’d watch House of Gucci, except if you’re a dedicated Gaga stan like myself, willing to trudge through hours of Jared Leto doing a Waluigi impression. As disappointed as I was with this movie, I’m so glad that I watched it first so that I could properly enjoy the next Gaga film: Bradley Cooper’s 2018 remake of A Star is Born. This is another film that could’ve easily sucked, and relied entirely on its famously chaotic press tour, but A Star is Born was actually quite good. Before this film, there were three other A Star is Born movies: one in 1937, one in 1954, and one in 1976—just to underscore the fact that this film documents a tale as old as time. But Bradley Cooper breathed new life into this classic story of fame and loss by writing a believably-modern take and believably-good music, and by casting Lady Gaga as the titular “Star” that is “Born”. Before I get into the film itself, and how good Lady Gaga is in it, I have to just quickly shout out the triple threat known as Bradley Cooper. I was always a fan, as you can tell by reading this blog, but I never knew how talented he was. The fact that he directed, wrote, AND starred in this film (alongside an actual rock star, no less) and it didn’t turn out to be a self-indulgent, pretentious mess, is truly incredible. I know he was nominated for several awards for this film, but I just don’t hear enough people praising the supreme talent that he is, given how hard of a task it must’ve been to create a new take on an old classic—and to write new music for it as well. Even though he may not be specifically praised enough in my opinion, “Shallow”, the main song from this movie, is one of the world’s best-selling singles of all time. I knew of this song wayyyyy before I saw this movie, and now that I’ve seen it, I have an even greater appreciation for it. A Star is Born follows Bradley Cooper as Jackson Maine, an acclaimed rock musician and singer who battles an alcohol and drug addiction. One night after playing a show his driver takes him around town in search of a bar, until they land at a gay bar full of (some of my fav) drag queens and queer performers. On this particular evening, part-time waitress part-time singer Ally (Gaga) happens to be performing an Edith Piaf tribute—in the most eloquent French and some dazzling 1920s makeup. Jackson is positively bewitched by Ally and her impeccable singing voice, that he has to meet her. They end up spending the whole night together, talking, walking, bearing their souls for the other to see. Their conversation feels natural, real, and sophisticated, and their chemistry? Well, let’s just say that Bradley Cooper is no longer with the woman he was with at the time. No, in all sincerity, Gaga and Bradley Cooper had some of the most authentic, sweet, and intoxicating chemistry. Their dynamic changes as Jackson takes her on the road, pulls her on stage, and turns her into a star, but never during these transformations does their spark fade. I knew that Lady Gaga could easily inhabit the determined and eccentric Patrizia Reggiani with ease (I mean she was even allegedly haunted by [the still alive] Patrizia so) but I was curious to see how she would take on a role with such humble, small beginnings. Naturally, effortlessly, but with the expected-amount of poise, Gaga played Ally so, so, so well, and with the same ease with which she played an Italian aristocrat. It may sound silly, but she was so good in this small-fish, small-pond role, to the point that even when Ally became famous, there was still a glimmer of “regular gal” in her eyes. A Star is Born was full of heartbreak and shock, and yet the experience was far calmer, and less tumultuous than watching House of Gucci. I was surprised by this film’s entire vibe, how slice-of-life-y it felt at times, and how expansive and necessarily excessive it felt at others. I was also surprised to see comedic legend Luenell playing a cashier, and Sam Elliott play Jackson’s much older cowboy brother, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the jumpscares that were Dave Chappelle and Alec Baldwin. Regardless of these ill-fated but small casting decisions, I was utterly compelled by this story. Even though I knew where the story was headed, even though I hate sad movies, I couldn’t look away from Jackson and Ally, and I couldn’t help but feel hope for them. Without reinventing the wheel, but still uniquely, A Star is Born captures the aching struggle of putting yourself out there creatively, and the immensely-pressurized environment of actually “making it”. Even though Gaga is an established, over-the-top, fearless singer and performer, she did such a good job portraying the kind but shy but ambitious Ally—in a way that I, honestly, didn’t expect. Even though A Star is Born ends with a tragedy, this entire film was far more entertaining, captivating, sexy, romantic, and thrilling than I imagined. This film, like House of Gucci, also attempts to tell a lot of story in a finite amount of time, but here it all worked so much better. The dialogue felt organic, every performer involved effortlessly inhabited their roles, and the music was genuinely good—something I would never expect! Bradley Cooper is sexy, even as he can barely talk or stand, Gaga was the ingenue of my dreams, and together they really did create something magical. Maybe it’s because I’m also a big-nosed gal, maybe it’s because I love Gaga, but I was so pleasantly surprised and inspired by this movie. It doesn’t take a life-long Lady Gaga fan to know her impact upon pop culture, and it doesn’t take a cinefile to recognize her talents in the field of acting, but if you watch either of tonight’s two films I guarantee you’ll walk away with at least some appreciation for her. Even in House of Gucci, which is objectively bad, she couldn’t help but dazzle. What can I say? I love movies, I love Gaga, and I want her ra ra aa aa aa, roma roma ma, gaga oo la la, want her to be in every movie from now on!