Jonah Hill Loves Dogs
The Wolf of Wall Street
War Dogs
This week, in an ode to one of our dear, dear, friends Jonah Hill, we viewed two notable and chaotic films of his illustrious career. We’re not literally friends with Jonah Hill, but his presence in a movie immediately puts me at ease upon pressing play, because I feel like I know him personally at this point. Jonah Hill has the unique and coveted quality of stealing the show, regardless of his role. One of my least favorite movies of all time is Knocked Up, but I can’t even hate it to the full extent that I’d like to, because it gave us Jonah Hill Feldstein: actor, writer, director, Sagittarius, brother to Beanie, and overall ball of charisma uniqueness nerve and talent. Tonight’s films were emblematic of the vast majority of his film resumé: chaotic, testosterone-laden, misguided adventures that involve questionable writing choices but a reliably memorable performance from the man of the evening. The Wolf of Wall Street was a revisit for me, but certainly not a dull one. I think I was so overwhelmed by my first viewing that I thought, surely, a second watch would be a little more meek—but I was incorrect. There’s so much in this film that shocks you, that upon a second watch, it’s all just as shocking. It was my sister who realized that The Wolf of Wall Street is essentially just a version of The Great Gatsby set in the 80s with a way less mysterious titular character, but even though cool rich dude is a common role that Leo DiCaprio plays, I know I can trust him to lead with ease because that’s a pretty easy role to play. It’s the role of best friend that Jonah Hill can’t seem to break out of that is more challenging to crack, because there’s no guarantee you’ll be remembered. That is, unless you’re Jonah Hill. He is truly transcendent in this movie, vibrating on a frequency that no one else in the cast could match and maintaining an absurd likability throughout—despite his character being such a bad person. I felt myself looking over to him in every scene, anticipating the next ridiculous line that would come out of his mouth. There were some odd choices made in the making of this film, the final song and shot of the film being just two of my grievances, but Martin Scorsese made a few impeccable decisions here: casting Jonah Hill alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, I feel, brought Leo out of his shell even more. And quite frankly, did a lot of the heavy lifting in some of their scenes together. Scorsese also did the right thing when he cast Margot Robbie, and afforded her the slightest bit of depth and a lot of personality—a rarity for women in these kinds of films. Martin Scorsese cannot make a film that is less than three hours, this is a fact, but somehow this movie never feels that long. This film actually has the same runtime as The Hobbit, but Bilbo can’t carry a movie quite like a fake-toothed, waspy Jonah Hill with a Napoleon complex and a penchant for saying hilarious things. Even with all of the destructive performances of machismo and the audaciously offensive displays of wealth and power and overall smattering of misogyny, all I can recognize is the fact that Jonah Hill carried this movie on his back just as much as Leo, if not more. War Dogs, another viciously heteronormative film imbued with the grime of patriarchy, featured a similar Jonah Hill, this time on steroids (or, I guess, more appropriately, cocaine). Miles Teller may be the narrator of this story but Jonah Hill was the standout and the foundation, delivering enough enthusiasm and talent for the both of them. Go Miles Teller, give us nothing! Because not only did he have the dullest lines, he never spoke any of them with any energy or expression in his face. This cold indifference was only made worse by his identity-ridden girlfriend Ana de Armas, who’s entire storyline revolves around her not knowing what’s going on and her not being involved. The two of them somehow went beyond having no chemistry, and instead had negative chemistry, where I actually began to hate the idea of these people being together. The only glimpse of emotion or affect was when Ana de Armas said “I thought you meant pillowcases!” The lack of connection between two love interests, not even when they’re listening to the heartbeat of their baby in the womb and Miles Teller says “What’s that”, coupled with the heavy helping of toxic masculinity, makes War Dogs a trademark Todd Phillips movie. Todd Phillips, who clearly has an affinity for the most diabolical scoundrels, was able to balance the debauchery with the fun in War Dogs and with a movie like The Hangover. What I don’t understand is how he couldn’t take this well-developed balance to Joker, his most critically-acclaimed movie, and another least favorite of mine. Bradley Cooper, who plays an absolute piece of shit in War Dogs and The Hangover, is more sympathetic than Todd Phillips’ interpretation of the Joker—a character who really really doesn’t need sympathy but demanded it anyway. I won’t say anymore about Joker because I am terrified of incels, but just know if you ever ask for a Todd Phillips movie recommendation, I’d say Road Trip: Beer Pong before I’d say Joker. Thank goodness for Jonah Hill, who once again was the guiding light of this movie. His sweaty, turbulent aura of desperation and depravity was inspired, and the fact that he’s the most interesting character here would be impressive if he were acting beside literally anyone else. I’m really not trying to shit on Miles Teller, but he makes it so easy, unlike watching him act. I’m not sure if liking these movies makes me a bad feminist, but if anything can be learned from these two films, it’s that the biographies of American businessmen are riddled with problematic stories, and that Jonah Hill can act circles around anyone.
