Horror for Rent

Lili’s Pick: The Rental

Lanie’s Pick: You Should Have Left

After realizing that two of the films on our respective watchlists contained stories about people renting houses and being subsequently tormented, my sister and I dubbed them “horror for rent” and voila: we had our next, highly specific genre. I regret to inform anyone who may be reading this that not only did both of these films royally fucking suck, but I must also inform you, they were also both equally boring. Dave Franco’s directorial debut The Rental had all of the makings of a successful horror film, accented by a cast of some of Hollywood’s youngest and coolest performers, and yet it accomplished quite literally: nothing. We were so much more disappointed by this film’s let down than the let down of You Should Have Left—a more instantly-recognizably-bad film. To quote Tyra Banks: “We were rooting for you, we were all rooting for you (Dave Franco)!” But alas, the set up, the scenery, and the cast were not enough to make up for the piss-poor ending, or rather, the fact that there really was no ending. You Should Have Left, with its annoyingly incongruous pairing of Kevin Bacon and Amanda Seyfried, certainly attempted to scare and unsettle, but the only sensation I felt while watching this film was regret. I could give you the shortest, most succinct synopsis of these films in the span of a sentence, but for your curiosity’s sake, and for the sake of not wasting anymore of my energy shitting on them, I’ll let you experience the disappointment for yourself.