Chick Flicks
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion
Drop Dead Gorgeous
After last week’s double dose of dude debauchery, I felt it was absolutely necessary that I balance out this blog with some much needed girl time. I can indulge in a bro movie, sit through a heavy drama, and partake in any mind and genre-bending cinema, but one of my all-time favorite genres, where I hang my hat after a long day of roasting films, my safe space, are chick flicks. What, exactly, constitutes a chick flick you ask? The Oxford English dictionary deems any film that appeals mainly to women as a chick flick, but I find the definition to be a bit more nuanced and layered than that. To me, a chick flick is more than just girl talk and silly hijinks and monologues from the heart and Reese Witherspoon, although those are often staples of these films, but they can take many forms. Grey Gardens, for example, could be considered a chick flick. It features a unique female relationship between two style icons who engage in many hijinks as they go about their days, and it certainly passes the Bechdel Test. Not all chick flicks are created equal, as real-life women living amid the throes of the patriarchal society that seeks to take away our basic human rights can relate. Chick flicks are educational films that catalogue the history of the Women’s Rights Movement. Chick flicks are narratives of platonic, queer, familial relationships among women. Chick flicks are horror movies where Megan Fox eats boys. Chick flicks are cinematic poems, detailing complex female stories in cities and farms and beaches and dirt roads and car rides and abortions and motherhood and bad dates and bad sex and good men and terrible men and the self-healing that’s done alone and the oral history of sharing these stories among other women. Whether uproariously hilarious or heart-shatteringly tragic, true chick flicks are made with women and femmes in mind—in a world that was not made with us in mind. They offer a respite from the men and the laws and the detritus that attempt to control and condemn everything we do. Chick flicks are the medicine that cures me time and time again, they are composed of some of the women who made me who I am today: opinionated and bitchy and proud. While I consider myself a chick flick connoisseur, there were still some gaps in my resume—two of the most significant gaps being Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion and Drop Dead Gorgeous. Romy and Michele had style and a whimsical irreverence, but fell a little short for me. I know that I judge horror movies and chick flicks the harshest, but that’s only because I hold them in the highest regard. I’ve seen SO many good chick flicks that I have a hard time settling for anything less than sensational. I can’t deny the charm and the heart that Romy and Michele had, and it earns the esteemed title of chick flick because at its core this film conveys a believable, admirable female friendship, but it didn’t quite hit the way I wanted it to. At its best, this movie was liberatingly stupid. The sudden interpretative dance routine at the reunion. Pretty much every line Lisa Kudrow delivered, including but not limited to every uttering of the word “Duh”. The grumbled and lovely Janeane Garofalo and the impish and impeccable Alan Cumming. Justin Theroux as a tall, dark, brooding, mysterious cowboy. When Mira Sorvino said “Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before and my shoe is filling up with blood.” At its worst, this movie gave the mean kids too much screen time, and the iconic Romy and Michele outfits not nearly enough. The structure of its story, and really the story in general, was not what I was expecting. And while I did come to like Romy and Michele as characters, I wish we had gotten to know them more, as people. It was thoroughly sweet, thoroughly entertaining, and while it didn’t reinvent the wheel, there was still a lot of fun to be had—and I can’t deny the icon-status of this movie if there’s a musical adaptation of it. It didn’t make me laugh as hard as some of the other chick flicks I love but it did make me feel seen: as someone who also didn’t peak in high school. Tonight’s movies also served as a reminder that chick flicks can be as problematic as bro cinema—well, maybe not as problematic. The 1999 mockumentary Drop Dead Gorgeous, not to be confused with the millions of other movies with this title, was unexpectedly, instantly funny and iconic. Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards, Brittany Murphy, Amy Adams, Ellen Barken, Allison Janney, and Kirstie Alley gave some of the best acting performances of their lives in this film and made it the classic that it is. Brittany Murphy and Kirsten Dunst were as likable as ever, Amy Adams—in a very on brand move—gave a transcendent performance, Kirstie Alley played a toned-down version of herself as the terrifying conservative housewife/pageant tyrant, and Denise Richards gave a dedicated and believable performance that left me wondering where these skills were on season 10 of RHOBH… but I digress. This movie is diabolically fun and made me laugh out loud way more than I anticipated I would. It was the exact kind of dark and absurd and ruthless that I love, with a wildly inappropriate sense of humor that only the turn of the recent century could provide. It’s not a perfect film, as rewatching comedies from my childhood keep reminding me, but Drop Dead Gorgeous was appallingly, relentlessly funny, even on the less-than-legitimate website that I had to view it on. It’s not the easiest movie to find (tysm HBOMax for recently removing it) but it is 100% worth the search and the watch. We’re living in uncertain, uneasy, and if you’re a woman, truly terrifying times right now. With the recent passing of the most restrictive abortion bill in US history here in this hellscape we call Texas, I’ve been feeling hopeless and angry and numb all at the same time. Chick flicks are not the answer to these problems, nor do they protect us from the ever-pressuring chode of the patriarchy, but they are a welcome distraction during these immensely tragic and scary times. Below are some links to donate to places that offer funds + aid to people who need abortions in Texas, so if you don’t have time to watch these chick flicks, maybe you have time to help someone in need. [Please comment any resources you know of!] And to my fellow chicks reading this, stay strong, stay vigilant, and stay immutably yourself. Our world does not want us to thrive, but we must survive.
Frontera Fund
Tea Fund
Find Texas Choice
Lilith Fund
The Bridge Collective
