Bro Cinema (pt. II)

American Pie

Sorority Boys

Following up the feminine empowerment of last week’s chick flicks, it only felt fair to once again cater to the scuzzier side of my film taste with another round of double bro features. While I struggled to find chick flicks that I’d never seen before, there were a countless amount of buddy comedies and bro-down adventure movies for me to choose from. Just another example of women being deprived of something that men get a lot extra of. I will not defend these movies and their many shortcomings, offenses, and cringe jokes. I will not say that they are for everybody, in fact I probably don’t need to see one of these movies ever again. But there is a certain nostalgia I have for this era of bromantic comedies and this flavor of stupid, dumb boy humor. I find that this type of debaucherous dude film is often quite honest, if not revealing of bro-kind, and I can appreciate it—from an anthropological / sociological standpoint. They represent a type of masculine cinematic archetype that aims to let loose, a hyperbolically hormonal teenage carnage that began with the likes of John Hughes movies (somewhat Ferris Bueller but especially Sixteen Candles) and ended with the bro-down farces of the early 2000s. As I said last week, these senselessly silly movies are so hard to come by these days, and as someone who likes to turn their brain off every once in awhile and laugh at some ridiculous farces, I have no choice but to turn to the past. Considering my experience with distasteful dude films, it may be a bit surprising that I’ve never seen the 1999 film American Pie. It is such a massive cultural touchstone for millennials, so much so that I already knew characters and quotes from this movie, and yet I was still unprepared for the amount of cringing and eye-rolling I’d be doing. This clunky classic really goes full throttle into its high-stakes high school fantasy, and each member of this cast was devoted to bringing its blue humor to life. It’s also one of those turn-of-the-century movies where every single person on screen is famous now. Two out of the four leads of this film were completely unknown to me, but every extra and background character was familiar. Christina Milan plays a band geek with no lines, for example, and John Cho of Harold and Kumar has one line, where he teaches everyone what a MILF is (it’s Jennifer Coolidge, obviously) This movie also stars Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nichols, Eddie Kaye Thomas (also of Harold and Kumar fame), Tara Reid, Mena Suvari, Natasha Lyonne, Shannon Elizabeth, Sean William Scott, Alyson Hannigan (perpetually playing Willow), and Eugene Levy. I mean, what can I say about American Pie that hasn’t already been said? And what bro movie doesn’t begin with its main character masturbating? I guess I’ll start with the good. A staple of high school cinema is the order of the school, cool kids against the uncool, but here all of the jocks and nerds and losers intermingled and had an equal chance to be a vessel for horniness. I really enjoyed Natasha Lyonne and the fact that her character was vital but still above all of the boyish nonsense. I liked Tara Reid and the fact that her boyfriend wasn’t the biggest creep—he even seemed to cringe and turn red when he had to deliver some particularly cringe lines. I liked the fact that Chris Klein’s character’s joins the choir so he can hook up with an equally-tone deaf Mena Suvari. I liked that when all was said and done, American Pie did somewhat critique the absurd and distinctly-American shame we feel around sex and the pressure to have it at a certain time. There have been better examples of this, though, even in equally silly movies—like the next one—that just managed to do it better. And I liked the music. That’s about it. What I can appreciate about these movies is often what makes me the most uncomfortable too, and that’s the fact that they come from a real place. Sure, these teenagers and their libidos were exaggerated a bit, but I do believe that this horrifically hormonal time in a person’s life can be stressful and uber uber cringe. I believe that teenage boys would tune in to a livestream of a girl undressing without her knowing anyone is watching. I do believe that teenagers have no choice but to be scary and embarrassing, which may bring about gross consequences. It is a part of growing up, and in American cinema, it is a staple of adolescent narratives to be ragingly horny and obnoxious. But American Pie didn’t do much to make up for all of the rape culture it perpetuated, and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t quite funny enough either. Perhaps if I were of the generation whom this is made for, I’d have a certain nostalgia that would overcompensate for this movie’s problems. I knew of Stifler and Stifler’s mom and Jason Biggs fucking a pie, but I really thought I’d be laughing more. The only line I can remember making me laugh is also the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, and that’s Sean William Scott’s Stifler saying to his nerdy friends: “I’ll look for you in the ‘not fucking’ section.” If it had at least been funny, I’d forgive American Pie for what it lacked. Because this was certainly do-able for the next film that I watched: Wallace Wolodorsky’s 2002 film Sorority Boys. Sorority Boys is a movie that I remember catching a glimpse of one day when flipping channels, years ago. And as I gazed at Michael Rosenbaum and a Timothy Olyphant-esque looking hottie in drag sword fighting with giant, colorful dildos, I knew that I’d have to see this movie. Sorority Boys follows Dave (Barry Watson), Adam (Michael Rosenbaum), and Doofer (Harland Williams), three fun-loving frat dudes who’s world(s) comes crashing down when the three of them are wrongly-accused of stealing from the fraternity. To avoid being hazed to death (or at least social suicide) Dave, Adam, and Doofer have no choice but to become Daisy, Adina, and Roberta—three girl friends who join Delta Omicron Gamma (DOG) the sorority of misfits at their school [ala The House Bunny]. Naturally. In this dirtier, more ridiculous Some-Like-it-Hot-meets-She’s-the-Man set up, these bros must get into drag and band together with their fellow outcasts to prove their innocence, and regain entry into their frat. The only thing is, during their week of sisterhood and sacrifice, these boys learn a few things. To say that these bros get a taste of their own medicine would be an understatement. While these “walk a mile in my shoes” stories can often be too easy, Sorority Boys really puts this trio through the ringer of the feminine experience. They’re cat-called, date-raped, ridiculed, over-sexualized, and over all disrespected. As Michael Rosenbaum says “we’re not supposed to know about makeup or periods of self esteem issues!” But they also learn about the special, vulnerable quality of female friendships. How clean and kind and nurturing women can be, how much easier it can be to open up to women-kind. This sisterhood’s strong connection was showcased throughout the whole movie, but when Doofer/Roberta the stoner gets all of his sorority sisters high, I really felt like they were bonding. I really appreciated that this movie “went there” with it, because what I always crave from this caliber of movie is a certain self-awareness and self-reflectiveness that is rarely there. And while there are certainly better examples of films that analyze gender politics and the very sexist roadblocks standing in the way of female empowerment, this movie confronted far more topics and issues than I expected. There’s no nice way to say this, but part of why I love these movies is because they just end up making a mockery of men—whether consciously or not. But Sorority Boys seemed to genuinely revel in its critique of masculine ideals and the useless frivolity of fraternities. I didn’t really expect there to be such a salient critique of greek life in this movie, but between the oversexed toxicity of the current frat bros and the grossly-exploitative nature of the alumni who wield the power, Sorority Boys actually had a lot to say about these outdated institutions. Melissa Sagemiller, Heather Matarazzo, Yvonne Scio, and Kathryn Stockwood were a lovable group of sorority sisters—speaking as someone who was briefly in a sorority and only made it out with a few friends, but that’s a story and a movie for another time. I know this movie sounds dumb, and it is dumb, there is no denying that. But it was also, kinda great. It’s always fun to call out the absurdities of gender roles, and it’s always fun to watch drag queens, in this feminist critic’s opinion. The three main dudes were dedicated to their roles and Michael Rosenbaum had a few line deliveries that made me laugh reeeeally hard. It doesn’t get more fun than Sorority Boys (make sure to stick around for the credits and a post-credits scene), but if you want something dumber, go for a slice of American Pie. Thanks for putting up with these brodowns, my dudes, and I hope you’ll stick around for the hype and the hijinks next week! Later, bro.